Eat, Pray, Love was a top-selling book written by a woman who was detailing her journey after a painful divorce to healing and finding love again. When I first read the book in 2007, I thought to myself, “I can definitely write a book like this. After all, it’s just a woman writing about her journey to finding love again after a heartbreak.”
Now, six years later I am finally ready to release my own version of Eat, Pray, Love only my version is Eat, Drink, Pray. I admit it – I am a lush who enjoys her wine. I do believe that wine is God’s proof that he loves us human beings.
This month marks the one-year anniversary of what I dub as the Best Breakup Ever. I call it the Best Breakup because I feel so relieved I never got married or had kids in my last relationship. I dodged a missile with that guy. Although I knew him for 7 years and dated him for 3, I never really saw his true character until we ended things. The mark of a man’s character is not how he begins a relationship but how he ends it. In the beginning, every man who is courting a woman will put his best foot forward. It’s how he ends things that shows what kind of a person he truly is.
The end of any long-term relationship is painful but mine ended in flames. My ex told me he deserved better than me and used my illness as an excuse to get out of our relationship. He later told a mutual friend that he broke up with me and that he thought it was weird that I had so many sexual partners.
First of all, we were going through couple’s counseling two months before we broke things off. The day he refused to go to counseling with me was the day I started packing my things to move out of our apartment. He may tell people he broke up with me but the way I see it, he gave up on our relationship first.
Secondly, it was my mistake to divulge my magic number to my ex. Some things are best kept secret. It was pretty low of him to go to our mutual friend, who was actually my sister’s boyfriend at the time and exaggerate how many intimate partners I have been with.
The kicker was when I found out that my ex started dating his new girlfriend while I was still living with him in our apartment.
It took me a while to get over my fury towards my ex. I took aikido to try and channel my anger in a more positive direction. I fantasized about beating the crap out of him. It took me some time to really let go of my anger towards him and truly forgive him for what he did to me. It was not an easy task. But sometimes, you have to accept the apology you never got in order to move on with your life without bitterness.
The past year has been quite a journey for me. I’ve dated a few guys. Some were interesting while others made me see the appeal of being a nun or a lesbian. Fellows – please learn to man up and just let those balls drop. I am a woman who has no time for boyish games and I would rather be alone and by myself than attach myself to yet another wrong guy.
Despite all the heartaches I have endured, I do believe my Prince Charming is still out there. He just needs to prove he earns the right to be my man.